Weddings, Funerals, and What Love Looks Like
I've had all sorts of inspiring blogs churning around in my head lately, with no time in which to write them. This will be kind of a combination of a lot of things that all relate somehow in my head -- forgive me if they don't relate so well on the page!
My Christmas trip home was filled with rest, friends, and family, just as it ought to be. It was extended a bit by the passing of my great-uncle, and the accompanying familial events. Some of you had the opportunity to meet my great-uncle; I wish those of you who have not could have done so. He was among the world's most loving men. I remember being very young and rather overwhelmed at large family gatherings, and how he would reach out to me, making me feel special and safe. He first began working in the ministry in the early forties, and he performed his last service in 2001. Sixty years of ministry; can you imagine? My mother, aunt, and I spent some time perusing his record book of weddings, baptisms, and funerals; what an amazing life of service he led. His passing was expected and timely, but he will be dearly missed, nonetheless. The last recital I gave was for him and my great-aunt (who became my adopted grandparents through a mistake in publicity); I was glad to be able to offer what I could at the service. My father and I played together; nothing really extraordinary, but it was a gift I knew he and my great-aunt both appreciated.
My best friend's father was re-married last weekend. This is another incredible pastor, who knows how to love with his life as well as his heart. It was difficult to see a new woman in his arms; I dearly loved his late wife, and it was not an easy thing to imagine a new life partner for him. I played for this service, as well, so I was able to sit on the side of the sanctuary, where I could see his face. The poignancy of loss was overwhelmed by his joy. His face captured the thought from a song I've been listening to lately : "What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all round the sun..." In other words, "Look what I've found! Can I keep her? Really? Is she mine?" A love that pure and tangible has something irresistable about it.
Speaking of which, I'm far gone from resisting it, myself. Some of you have seen me since December; for those of you who have not, I'm absolutely swept off my feet. This has never happened to me, honestly. I've liked fellows, I've been liked, I've gone out with them, but I've never been in this impossible, indefinable, incomprehensible state before. They all say, "You'll know it when you feel it"; they all say, "Trust me, you'll find the time somehow." I don't generally put a good deal of credence in what they all say, but this time, they were right. He and I come from two impossibly different universes, and we're so different in so many ways. Some are important, some are not. It doesn't seem to matter, though. The similarities, the differences, the details, all seem so irrelevant. Maybe they should seem more important; maybe they will later. Frankly, I don't really care at this point. I am impossibly happy and complete in a way I couldn't have imagined.
What does love look like? It looks like Friar Jim on his wedding day. It looks like my aunt, treasuring a lifetime of memories without bitterness. It looks like two nutty fools driving hundreds of miles each week just to spend a few hours locked in each other's gaze. Could it be more amazing and beautiful?