Sunday, March 16, 2008

"The strongest and sweetest songs..."


"...yet remain to be sung." ~Walt Whitman

Why does this quote matter to me today? Because it’s on my ring. The one I’m wearing. On my left hand.

I’m engaged to be married!

I’m waiting for it to seem real... this could take some time. Meanwhile, I’m swept up in this beautiful unreality. I never imagined... or maybe I did, but it was in that "wouldn’t space travel be nice?" sort of imagination.

I’m engaged to be married!

I’m going to get married!

I’m ... speechless.

Friday, March 14, 2008

"Papa, am I odd?"

Yeah, okay, I know I’m not like "normal" people. I know I’m ... unusual. But it would be nice to be a little more predictable! I suppose my greatest predictability is my lack of predictability, but I find that I sometimes long for greater consistency in my life. Part of me knows that I would hate to live without having each day be a new and changeable adventure, but part of me would really like to try it. Just for a little while!

About a week ago, I succesfully pulled off The Great Studio Renovation of 2008! And let it be known that I am, in fact, A Beast. One of my college buddies used to call me that, because I was always toting sound equipment and whatnot. He should have seen me with this wooden cabinet that I moved into my teaching studio. I felt alternately like a puppy who wouldn’t let go of a stick that is twice its size and Laurel and Hardy waiting for a piano to fall on their heads. I’m sporting some impressive bruises, but my studio is back in business. The gaping holes in the wall are patched, the walls are a pleasant shade of blue, the books are organized, the curtains are up -- it’s a very low-stress place to teach. I needed that. And I have a lovely feeling of success, ’cause I did it myself. Come on, doesn’t everyone have a touch of that toddler independence?

Over the weekend, I read the most inspiring and helpful book on piano practicing. Really great concrete stuff. Can’t wait to use it. Ummm... except that I’ve been dead-dog tired all week, and I can barely drag myself out of bed. Even the past two days, which have been sunny and gorgeous, haven’t brought me springing from the covers. So, getting any work done at all has been a challenge. And incredible challenge. An almost insurmountable challenge!

Are other folks like this? Either all energy or none? Either flashing bright success or buried in a comfy cave? If so, I don’t see how anything gets done in this world! I hate it when I don’t want to do anything -- I feel like a worthless lump. The good thing is, I know a burst of energy is right around the corner. Maybe, now that I’m well-rested...

And, after all, the Ides of March approacheth!